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Home»Psychology»Why Purpose Doesn’t Have to Be All or Nothing
Psychology

Why Purpose Doesn’t Have to Be All or Nothing

June 15, 2025No Comments4 Mins Read
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Humans often tend to fall into the trap of black-and-white thinking. Dichotomous thinking, as defined by the American Psychological Association, involves interpreting experiences in terms of extreme opposites: good or bad, happy or sad, success or failure. While it may initially seem motivating, research indicates that the outcomes are far from positive.

Studies have shown that polarized thinking is closely associated with mental health issues. A 2018 article by Mosaiwi et al., titled “In absolute terms: Increased use of absolute words as a specific marker for anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts,” analyzed online forums and found a significant pattern. They observed that discussions about fear and depression contained a higher percentage of absolute language, such as “always,” “nothing,” “complete,” compared to general forums. This type of black-and-white language was most prevalent in forums focused on suicidal ideation.

The negative impact of dichotomous thinking extends beyond mental health. Palascha and colleagues investigated this phenomenon in the context of diets and weight management. In The Journal of Health Psychology, they reported that individuals with rigid, all-or-nothing beliefs about food often experienced a cycle of strict diets followed by weight gain. This inflexible mindset can hinder efforts towards healthy eating habits.

In essence, all-or-nothing thinking is not beneficial to our well-being.

Despite this knowledge, many of us continue to apply this inadequate mentality when it comes to setting goals. Society often promotes a narrow definition of success, equating it with high achievement or prestigious titles. We convince ourselves that we must “become a millionaire or fall short,” “graduate from medical school or fail,” “land a job at a top accounting firm or settle for less.”

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These rigid definitions of success often lead to disappointment, as many individuals lack the necessary skills, resources, or privileges to achieve such specific goals. This can result in feelings of failure and inadequacy, ultimately causing some to question why they should even try.

The solution is not to set grandiose or unrealistic goals. Instead, we must move away from dichotomous thinking and embrace incremental progress.

Goals do not have to be all-or-nothing propositions; they can and should be achieved in small steps.

For instance, if your dream is to become a millionaire, start by focusing on earning your first thousand dollars. If you aspire to become a doctor, begin by taking biology or anatomy courses to test the waters. If a career at a top accounting firm is your goal, start by preparing for and passing your CPA exam.

Success is achieved through gradual progress, not by immediately reaching a lofty destination. The journey towards a goal is where the real growth and fulfillment lie.

Goals should not be viewed as distant future achievements but as ongoing pursuits that unfold through daily actions. Start by taking small steps and building momentum towards your aspirations.

If you’re unsure how to break free from dichotomous thinking when it comes to goal-setting, here are some practical strategies to help you get started:

See the Bigger Picture

If your dream of becoming a doctor seems out of reach, consider other ways you can contribute to the medical field. Volunteer at a hospital or use your technical skills to assist in medical device development. There are endless possibilities beyond your initial vision.

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Focus on Actions, Not Titles

If you aspire to be an author, focus on writing rather than becoming a bestselling author. It’s our actions, not our titles, that define us. Let your actions speak louder than your aspirations.

Every Journey Begins with a Single Step

Don’t underestimate the power of small beginnings. Every doctor started with a basic biology lesson, every author with a single paragraph, and every entrepreneur with their first sale. Take that first step, and let it propel you forward.

In conclusion, dichotomous thinking can hinder mental health and impede our path to fulfillment. When it comes to setting goals, it’s essential to let go of the all-or-nothing mindset and embrace incremental progress. Success is not a distant destination but a continuous journey of growth and self-discovery.

Remember, the real obstacle to achieving your goals is not their grandeur or difficulty but how you perceive them. Goals are not static endpoints but dynamic pursuits that evolve through daily actions and perseverance.

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