Resistance in Caregiving: Understanding and Overcoming Challenges
Written by Nancy L. Kriseman, MSW
Caregiving often presents challenges, with resistance being a common issue faced by both caregivers and care recipients. This resistance typically stems from a desire to maintain control and hold onto the familiar, particularly in times of stress or difficulty. Care recipients may resist when they feel their independence is threatened, while caregivers may feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to respond. Family caregivers may also experience resistance, especially when there are disagreements regarding care decisions, leading to conflict and tension.
Understanding Care Recipient Resistance
Resistance among care recipients who are cognitively intact often arises from a desire to preserve autonomy and dignity. This resistance can manifest in various ways, such as refusing to give up driving, declining to move to a retirement community, rejecting outside assistance, avoiding medical care, not adhering to medication schedules, or resisting financial management by others.
Many individuals fear losing control over their lives, and chronic illness can lead to increased dependence. Care recipients may associate needing help with a loss of autonomy and use denial as a way to maintain a sense of control. Family therapists can support autonomy by helping care recipients identify tasks they can still perform and adapt familiar activities to accommodate their limitations.
Older adults, particularly those over 80, often guard their financial privacy closely. Conversations about money can feel intrusive or suspicious, as some worry about losing control of their assets. Involving a neutral third party, such as an elder law attorney or accountant, can facilitate these discussions. Additionally, open and honest communication within families can help prevent crises and address concerns about safety and well-being.
Caregiver Resistance: An Overlooked Issue
Caregiver resistance is a critical but often overlooked issue in family caregiving. It can manifest as frustration, fear, isolation, feelings of helplessness, family conflicts, and the pressure to always make the right decisions. Entrenched caregiver beliefs, deeply held convictions that fuel resistance and increase stress, can hinder caregivers from accepting help or considering alternative approaches.
Therapists can assist caregivers in exploring these beliefs, understanding the emotions behind them, and shifting their perspectives. This process can empower caregivers to make changes that prioritize their well-being while still honoring their caregiving role. When multiple family members are involved in caregiving, conflict is common, especially when opinions differ on the type of care needed or where it should be provided.
Finding Strength in Resistance
While resistance in caregiving can be emotionally draining, it can also lead to personal growth. By understanding the source of resistance, caregivers and families can identify what truly matters, what they need to let go of, and where they can find strength and courage. Family therapists play a crucial role in this journey, offering perspective, reducing guilt, and highlighting that caregivers don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
Ultimately, despite resistance, families can move forward with clarity, compassion, and connection. By addressing and overcoming resistance, caregivers and care recipients can foster a more supportive and harmonious caregiving environment.
Nancy L. Kriseman, MSW, is an experienced geriatric social worker based in Atlanta, providing counseling, consultation, and training to family caregivers and eldercare service providers. To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.