Author Melanie Shankle says each of us has dragons to face. She means that life is a journey in which we encounter difficult situations, learn to trust God, and grow through adversity with His grace.
Sometimes the dragons we have to slay are those that rise up from our past via an unhealthy, even toxic, childhood. If this describes you, Melanie shares your pain. Like you she grew up in a household shaped by abuse, manipulation, or alcoholism.
Throughout her childhood, her mother moved from one failed relationship to another, remarrying for the last time when Melanie was a junior in college. Her mother would often say to her, “If people really knew you, Melanie…” and then conclude with derogatory comments.
Toxicity became so normalised that Melanie didn’t realize how dysfunctional her upbringing was until the day she gave birth to her daughter, Caroline. Melanie says, “It was then I finally recognized that my mom didn’t love me like I loved my daughter. Something inside her wasn’t healthy enough to love anyone without constantly sabotaging the relationship.”
I’m talking with Melanie Shankle on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly about her book Here Be Dragons: Treading the Deep Waters of Motherhood, which tells her story of healing by breaking free from generational cycles within her family.
Healing from a toxic past and setting a new path for your marriage and family can be difficult, but as 1 Peter 1:18 says, “We are ransomed from the futile ways of our forefathers.” We have freedom in Christ and it’s never too late to heal.
Melanie Shankle is an author, mother, creator of The Big Mama Blog, and cohost of The Big Boo Cast.