According to the CDC, nearly one in four women and one in seven men report having experienced physical violence from an intimate partner. Likely, those numbers are low because most abuse cases go unreported.
Domestic violence is evil. It’s a perversion of God’s design for relationship and should never be tolerated or excused. And yet, tragically, some Christian traditions encourage victims stay with their abusive spouse. This advice ignores other teachings in the Bible about love, safety, self-care, and serving God and each other through our relationships.
How should you respond if you’re suffering from domestic violence?
I’ve invited author, pastoral trauma coach, and advocate for women who’ve experienced abuse, Karen DeArmond Gardner, to share her remarkable story on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.
Karen’s first marriage was to a man who managed his rage at first but eventually gave in to explosions of anger and cruelty disguised as jokes. For years, Karen made excuses for his behavior, thinking it was her responsibility to be a better wife, so he could be a better man.
Thirty years into her marriage, Karen read an article about domestic abuse in a Christian magazine. To her shock, Karen realized that she had been living in denial for years, making excuses for her husband’s destructive behavior, like, “It’s just the way he is,” or “I made him angry.” But the article opened her eyes to a different reality, which empowered her to make different choices.
No one likes talking about domestic violence. It’s a disturbing topic, and those who have experienced abuse often suffer from intense, unresolved guilt and shame. But Karen believes that through God’s love, men and women can find freedom from oppression and find healing and hope.