Marriage is a beautiful gift from God — but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.
That’s good to remember if you or someone you love will soon be standing at a wedding altar. Most people get married anticipating good times together — laughter, adventure, years of building a family together — but we don’t give much thought to the hard moments to come.
Seasoned couples who are asked what they didn’t anticipate in their marriages often give answers like:
• “I didn’t know we’d have to survive betrayal.”
• “I didn’t know we’d have to rebuild trust.”
• “I didn’t know illness would change our lives.”
• “I didn’t realize how career decisions would uproot our lives.”
Author Leann Murphy has said all of that and more in her nearly 40 years of marriage. She and her husband, Mike, had high expectations for their lives together, but not understanding how to handle their differing personalities, communication styles, and love languages kept them in conflict.
Leann says, “We meant our vows, but keeping them seemed so much easier before the wedding than at any point afterward.”
What helped them turn things around was learning a few simple but powerful truths:
• Healthy couples don’t strive to win arguments but to understand each other. They protect the relationship by slowing down and listening to each other.
• Healthy marriages are built on daily acts of grace. Sooner or later, you will disappoint each other. The ability to forgive is crucial.
• Marriage isn’t meant to navigate alone. Seek wisdom from mentors. Invest time in prayer together. Remember that God designed marriage to grow stronger over time.
The couples who thrive aren’t those who avoid hardship but the ones who walk through it together, hand in hand, honoring the promises they made on their wedding day.
To get your marriage off to a great start, tune into a conversation I had with Leann Murphy on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. She brings incredible wisdom, helpful insight, and practical tools for navigating conflict and preparing for a life-long, godly marriage.