The Misconception of Family Estrangement
An episode of a popular podcast hosted by Oprah Winfrey has garnered over five million views since its release last November. The episode titled “Oprah Explores the Rising Trend of Going No Contact with Your Family” has sparked controversy due to its use of the word “trend” in relation to the serious issue of family estrangement.
Many influencers have framed family estrangement as a “fad” or something “in vogue,” which can be deeply insulting to those who have made the difficult decision to go no contact with their family members. This framing is often done for clicks and likes, rather than from a place of understanding or empathy.
As someone who has been no contact with a parent for ten years, I can attest to the fact that this decision is not made lightly. It is a painful and agonizing process that is often the result of exhausting all other options for reconciliation. The decision to go no contact is not about following a trend, but about prioritizing one’s mental health and well-being.
The Reality of Going No Contact
Contrary to popular belief, therapists do not push their clients to go no contact with their families. In fact, some therapists may assume that reconciliation is always the desired outcome. However, those who have experienced family estrangement know that it is often necessary for their own healing and growth.
The use of the word “trend” in relation to family estrangement is damaging in several ways. It falsely portrays the decision as impulsive and uninformed, when in reality, it is often the result of careful consideration and emotional turmoil. Additionally, it diminishes the autonomy of individuals who have made the decision to go no contact, implying that they are simply following a popular trend.
Reshaping the Narrative
Family estrangement is not a fashion statement or a passing fad; it is a deeply personal and painful decision that is made out of necessity. Those who have experienced estrangement understand the complexity and emotional toll it can take, and do not see themselves as trendsetters.
Ultimately, going no contact with a family member is a courageous choice that is made in the name of self-respect, healing, and autonomy. It is not about following a trend, but about prioritizing one’s own well-being and mental health.